When depression sets in it has the ability to take over and affect just about every aspect of our lives; Our relationships, sleep, productivity at work, libido, social life and diet. It can seem that nothing is working in our lives and we have overwhelming feelings of hopelessness. This negative cycle of hopelessness and despair is like being on a runaway train. You can, however, pull the emergency chain to halt the train of depression and take specific steps to feel better.
This article seeks to explain ways to identify and reclaim your denied self which is the third component of the Missing Self. Because our denied self (split off parts of ourselves) are deeply embedded in our unconscious we will need to seek the co-operation of people that are known to us to help us bring them to our consciousness. We cannot reclaim those split off parts until we allow ourselves to at first acknowledge them.
We all have parts of ourself that we don’t want to acknowledge or for others to see. Facing our missing parts is hard but here are a few steps that you can take to identify and reclaim your missing self.
The primary function of our caretakers (parents) is to nurture us through the various developmental stages and to meet our basic human needs. Another concurrent job our caretakers have is to socialize us so that we will be accepted into the world, including family, community and beyond which include schools, religious communities and peer groups. When we are not adequately socialized and receive repressive messages from the environment we give up parts of ourselves in order to survive . To live a life of joyful aliveness it is essential to embrace your shadow to reclaim lost parts
Our thoughts and beliefs are stories and impressions that we have gathered about ourselves and the world around us based on messages that we receive from the environment. When I refer to environment I mean our parents, school teachers and peers. As we develop and grow we are constantly receiving messages such as “you are too fat”, “you are ugly”, “you will never be slim, because everyone in our family is overweight, it is in our genes”, “you are not clever enough”, “your sister is the pretty one”. Because these messages are repeated over and over again they become who we are and believe them implicitly. Our beliefs predict success or failure, if we want to change our results we need new beliefs.
“Belief is a thought in your mind that causes the power of your subconscious to be distributed into all phases of your life according to your thinking habits. The belief of your mind is simply the thought of your mind. It is foolish to believe in something that will hurt or harm you. It is worth noting that it is not the thing believed in that hurts or harms you, but the belief or thought in your mind that creates the result. All your experiences, all your actions, and all the events and circumstances of your life are but the reflections and reactions to your own thought.”
Many of us eat when there is an absence of hunger. We may eat because it is “time” to eat or in response to our emotions, such as to celebrate, when we are angry, lonely, sad, frustrated. In my last article I discussed tuning in to your body whenever you find yourself thinking about or searching for food. It is also essential to manage your thinking which can either motivate or demotivate you towards your goal. These two components associate with emotions and manage thinking to lose weight are essential if the loss is to be permanent.