Healing Anger, Aggression and Jealousy. David came to see me because he was suffering extreme anger, aggression and jealousy towards his partner of 2 years. This behaviour was totally out of character and was jeopardizing his relationship with not only his partner, but also her family. David is 50 years of age and the only child of a woman who is judgmental and critical. She did not want a son and never hid this fact from him. She suffered from depression and tried, on several occasions, to commit suicide. As a young boy David came home from school on a number of occasions to find that she had tried to commit suicide. David’s parents did not have a happy marriage. David has a conscious memory of his Mother walking out – he was a little boy watching his Mother walk out the driveway as he pleaded with her to stay.
The SessionsI conducted a Word Association Test on David whilst he was in hypnosis. The results revealed that he had a tremendous fear of losing someone he loves. Regression to the times when his Mother left home, her attempted suicide and feelings of rejection because he was not a girl did not elicit any emotion. I realized that those events were not the Initial Sensitizing Event (the event that is driving his negative behaviour today). An ISE is usually accompanied by a great deal of emotion. Further regression uncovered the Initial Sensitizing Event. At age 4 years David was playing in the street outside his home when his dog ran out into the road. The dog was hit by a car and was lying in the road in great pain. The driver initially got out of her car, but then abandoned him. The dog eventually died. He knew he was going to be in trouble with his Mother. David managed to get the dog into the garden and he initially hid it behind a bush. David was not only very upset about the death of his dog, but felt guilty because he believed it was his fault that the dog had got out of the garden.
“I feel different: happy, light hearted, positive & free! My aggression/ anger/ insecurity has been beaten, & I’m able to deal with adverse situations in a rational manner. The change in me has brought us all closer than we could ever have hoped for.” David, November 2007David was able to re-play the event and could see that the dog actually got out through a hole in the fence. The 4 year old David was then able to understand that it was not his fault – his Father was responsible for the repair of the fence. Whilst in hypnosis David was able to see himself as a 4 year old sitting alone and scared of what would happen when his Mother found the dog. His Mother discovered him like this and berated him on the death of his dog. A lot of emotion was released as David re-lived this event. He is a 50 year old man who had believed all these years that it was his fault that his dog had died. Further regression revealed that David had lived in a past life where he lost the woman he loved due to not keeping in touch with her. There were many regrets. The love that he lost in this past life was his partner in his current life. Meeting her was the symptom producing event – it brought back the memories of loss – of her in the past life and of his dog. David is now calm and all his initial negative feelings have disappeared.
NOTES: Sometimes your feelings of loss are hidden. Somehow you get through everyday without despairing over past experiences. And then suddenly something happens to cause behaviour that is out of character. Meeting his partner was that something, that exposed the fact that David had never recovered from his experiences. By having the courage to confront his past, understand what happened and forgive, David has been set free to be happy.