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Imago Relationship Counselling

Are your relationships frustrating?  Do you find that even if you change your partner you have the same challenges?  This article explains why and how you can be happy.

The Imago approach is for couples, families, groups and organizations. It is a dialogical process to:-

  • Heal Relationship issues
  • Learn how to communicate more effectively
  • Assist in conflict resolution
  • Address problems in the workplace

Imago Relationship Therapy was developed by Harville Hendrix PhD.  The Institute's membership of therapists operate in 40+ countries.

The Imago dialogue helps you to:-

  • restore connection
  • understand the other person's perspective
  • and to understand yourself better

This enables you, within a relationship or organization to:-

  • have a functional relationship with someone that you have differing opinions and values
  • be able to take responsibility for your own role in conflict
  • Acknowledge your contribution to conflict

The Imago theory explains

Why we are attracted to certain people and
The role of conflict in a relationship.

It also helps us to see how childhood wounding impacts on your present relationships.

Childhood wounding isn't only the result of physical or sexual abuse or neglect. We all bear scars from childhood. That's because even the most devoted parents cannot meet all our changing needs.

When we were children we protected ourselves by either:- 

withholding feelings, thoughts and behaviours (shutting down) or
by exploding our feelings outward (clinging, demanding, anger)
These defences become our default reaction to pain.

We are unconsciously attracted to a person who
has the same wounding and
an opposite way of coping.  
Our defenses cause pain to others and takes us away from what we want.

When this happens, we can begin to question whether we have made the right choice. We will have negative feelings - anger, despair, resentment, pain and sadness.

Then comes the Power Struggle.  This is also unconscious.

You will either:-

  • Fight
  • Live parallel lives of discontentment (no connection)
  • Seek comfort and/or distraction in work
  • Have addictions or affairs
  • and live a life of convenience – be it financial or for the sake of the children.

This can lead to separation or divorce.
BUT THIS IS NOT THE ANSWER!
You can get rid of the partner but you take the problems (your unconscious defences) into the next relationship.

The Imago dialogue helps restore connection, understanding and deep intimacy.
THEN you can experience that “falling in love” sensation all over again.
The process provides a safe environment to explore painful and sensitive issues.

So……..

  • If you are frequently thinking that divorce is the only answer
  • If you and your partner are constantly fighting about the same issues
  • If you find that discussing difficult issues always ends in a fight
  • If you or your partner are constantly expecting the other to be the same as you

Then you would benefit from Imago Relationship counselling.

You will learn:-

  • How to express how you feel
  • How to ask for what you want
  • Identify how you are contributing to the tensions in your relationship.
  • That your partner has a different reality which is not wrong because it differs from your reality.
  • What triggers your partner’s behaviour.

 Contact Linda to book your first session!


 

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