Do You Find Yourself Sitting With Negative Feelings That You Cannot Eliminate?
Do You Constantly Find That People Misunderstand You?
Do You Find It Difficult To Build Rapport With People?
History Of Neuro-Linguistic Programming
NLP was founded by Richard Bandler and John Grinder in the 1970’s as an effective and rapid form of psychological therapy capable of addressing the full range of problems that Psychologists are likely to encounter, such as phobias, depression, habit disorders, psychosomatic illnesses and learning disorders. It also espoused the potential for self-determination through overcoming learned limitations.
Later, it was promoted as a “science of excellence”, derived from the study of “modelling” of how successful or outstanding people in different fields obtain their results. It was claimed that these skills can be learned by anyone to improve one’s effectiveness, both personally and professionally.
What Is Neuro-Linguistic Programming?
“Neuro” refers to the mind and how we organize our mental life – our thinking process – the way we use our senses to understand what is happening around us.
“Linguistic” is about language, how we use it and how it affects us – our words, the way we use language and how it influences us and those around us.
“Programming” is about our sequences of repetitive behaviour – the way we organize our ideas and actions, which produced expected and unexpected results.
NLP therefore is about connection, for our thoughts, speech and actions are what connect us to others, the world and to the spiritual dimension.
NLP is first and foremost about action. It gives you more choices in your mind and body, and so frees you to explore spirit. Success, therefore, largely depends on a person being open to doing something different to be willing to take action. Results, therefore, differ from person to person. Linda will do everything to teach her clients how but it is up to the client to do.
An NLP coach will use NLP for depression and anxiety and also provide NLP Counselling.
How We Think And Feel
The starting-point of NLP is curiosity and fascination about ourselves; It is about how.
How do we do what we do?
How do we think?
How do we learn?
How do we get angry?
How do outstanding people in any field get their results?
NLP therefore explores how we think and feel and studies or “models” excellence in every walk of life.
Our body and mind seem constant, but are changing all the time, like a river – ceaseless activity, moment by moment change, yet overall something at a deep level is the same.
Thoughts and physiology are intimately connected; what and how we think affect our physiology, and our physical health and well-being affect our thoughts.
What are the consequences of your beliefs?
What actions flow from them?
As we cannot know everything about the world, in many areas our beliefs are simply our best guess at the moment. It is useful for us to look at our beliefs and see how they serve us. Sometimes what we do and what we believe do not match.
The Four Main Principles in NLP
The First Pillar of NLP
The first pillar of NLP is to establish rapport with yourself and then others. Rapport relates to your relationships; Both with yourself and your relationships with others.
Having physical rapport with yourself means that you will enjoy greater health and well-being as the different parts of your body are working well with each other.
The greater your mental rapport with yourself means that you feel at peace with yourself, for the different parts of your mind are united.
Rapport at the spiritual level can manifest as a sense of belonging to a larger whole, beyond individual identify, and knowing our place in creation.
There are many who have all the external trappings of success, yet are unhappy within themselves. You may have noticed that such people make others uneasy too. We seem to arrange the world in a way that reflects our internal state. Thus internal conflicts create external ones and the quality of the rapport we have with ourselves is often a mirror of what we achieve with others.
Whatever you do and whatever you want,
being successful will involve relating to and influencing others
More About Rapport
Building or breaking rapport can be established at many different levels:-
Body language, the words we use and the tone of our voice. If words and body language conflict, we nearly always take the non-verbal message as the most significant, although our conscious attention is mostly on the words.
Appearance and clothes are also a part of our body language as they make a statement about us to the outside world. People form first impressions quickly, usually in under ten seconds and tend to stick with them. You never get a second chance to make a first impression!
Excellent communicators match body language and voice tone with the person they are with. Most of this is done naturally; eg we sit down to talk to someone who is sitting and stand if they are standing. People who are in rapport often match body posture, holding their head at the same angle, they may breathe in unison, give the same amount of eye contact and match the speed and general frequency of hand gestures.
If a person is softly spoken it is helpful to respond in the same tone of voice. Conversely if a person is angry it is useful to respond in a slightly lower tone and slower speed and eventually slowing down to lead the person to a lower level of energy.
It is also useful to speak to a a person using the same level of vocabulary. One can also repeat certain words and phrases that the speaker has used; This shows them that you hear and respect their meaning.
The second pillar is to know what you want. Without knowing what you want, you cannot even define what success is.
In NLP this is known as setting your goal or outcome. It is a whole way of thinking. You consistently ask yourself, “What do I want? This is very different from asking yourself “What is my problem”
The third pillar is known as sensory acuity. This means using your senses. Looking at, listening to and feeling what is actually happening to you. Only then will you know whether you are on course for your goal. You can use this feedback to adjust what you are doing if necessary. This is something that children notice and we tend to lose as we mature.
The fourth pillar is behavioural flexibility. It is useful to have many choices of action; The more choices we have the more chance of success.
Keep changing what you do until you get what you want. This sounds so obvious, yet how many times do we do just the opposite? When you and your partner are arguing and know that you are getting into a hole and yet somehow you just keep digging!
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