This article seeks to explain ways to identify and reclaim your denied self which is the third component of the Missing Self. Because our denied self (split off parts of ourselves) are deeply embedded in our unconscious we will need to seek the co-operation of people that are known to us to help us bring them to our consciousness. We cannot reclaim those split off parts until we allow ourselves to at first acknowledge them.
The primary function of our caretakers (parents) is to nurture us through the various developmental stages and to meet our basic human needs. Another concurrent job our caretakers have is to socialize us so that we will be accepted into the world, including family, community and beyond which include schools, religious communities and peer groups. When we are not adequately socialized and receive repressive messages from the environment we give up parts of ourselves in order to survive . To live a life of joyful aliveness it is essential to embrace your shadow to reclaim lost parts